Thursday 8 August 2013

self-sufficient?

I have a few favorite spoken word poem's, but one of them is A man's promise. In it are these words:
You are worthy to be served
so dont swerve from that service you deserve.
Hide your pride and decide against the idea that you can provide solely for yourself
and dont need anyone else to confide in,
whoever told you that one, lied. 

How many of us like to believe we're self-sufficient? I've come to realize that that is just one of the many lies Satan tells us. Satan loves nothing more than to isolate us, and keep us apart from other people. Unfortunately, this often goes hand in hand with our pride, because we all like to think we're capable of doing life by ourself. Our pride often gets bruised when we have to admit defeat, surrender, or needing help. 

But the reality is, we were created for community. God Himself is a community - the Father, the Son, and the Spirit. And because we're made in His image, we too, need other people. Much as we like to believe we can do everything on our own, the Truth is, we cant. We were not created for isolation. We were not created to provide solely for ourselves. We were not created to rely only on ourselves for a complete life. 

But that's a scary thought, isn't it? I don't like to rely on people too much, because I am so afraid of getting hurt, like I have so many times before. But despite our hurt, Jesus still asks us to do life with Him, and with people. So, how is that possible? How do we move forward from the hurt in order to effectively do life with people again? I would suggest a few things. 

First, take all your hurt to the foot of Jesus' Cross, and leave it there. Tell Him how bad it hurts. Tell Him who hurt you, and tell him every ugly detail. He can handle it. Even if He was the One causing the hurt. And once you've told Him, ask for healing. And then leave the hurt there. Don't pick it up again. Refuse to carry it. Let Him shoulder that burden. 

Second, find people you can trust. Whether that be a family member, a close friend, a mentor, a pastor, or a counselor, just find at least one person. And when you've found them, talk to them. You don't have to share every detail yet, but each time you talk, trust them a little more, share with them a little more of your story. By doing this, over time you will see that there are still trustworthy people in this world. And yes, I know exactly how scary it is. But see how big your brave is. See just how courageous you can be. 

And finally, be social. I, by nature, am not a social butterfly when it comes to new people. If I'm with people I know well, then I am loud and confident and out there. But in a room full of people I dont know that well, I tend to try and fade into the background, or stay silent. But it's hard to live in community with people if you never let them get past 'hello.' Again, you dont need to share your entire life story with strangers... But you can talk about other things. You can find common interests and watch over time as trust builds. 

Life with people is scary. There is no guarantee that you wont get hurt again. In fact, the odds are, you will get hurt. People are imperfect, we all let each other down in some way eventually. But genuinely doing life with people is worth it.

A few months ago, I tweeted this.
Learning to trust again is never easy, but surely it will be worth it. 

I wrote this at the beginning of my jumping back into church life, with a bunch of people I knew from a distance, but not very well. It's been a few months, and I think it's safe to say that trusting the people I have trusted is worth it. Because I chose to get involved, I have new people in my life who are able to speak wisdom, Truth, and courage into me. I'm not saying I've got it all together yet, I'm still very cautious, and at times, terrified of trusting too much, but the journey is worth it. The reward is worth it. 

I dont know your story, friend. But I believe it's time. I believe that there are people who need you. I believe you need people - whether you want to admit it or not. Church is a great place for community. No Church is perfect - but neither is anything else. Christians are not perfect - but neither is anyone else. Take a step forward, Beloved. Take one step at a time. Stop trying to live life alone - you weren't made for that. A truly flourishing life has people to flourish with.

So take heart
Let His Love lead us through the night
Hold onto Hope
and take courage again.

P.s. I know it's not so easy to just find people to hang out with. There are lonely seasons in life. But like I said, even if it's a family member or counselor, just find one person to talk to honestly. It may be small, but it's a beginning. It's a step forward. 

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